Just as I was for the first time in 2016, several times after and now again today. I am still deeply saddened by the way our country voted against women, against freedom, against democracy and respectful rhetoric but I’M NOT AT ALL SURPRISED.

To all the women out there who are scared, I see you and your pain. 

TO ALL THE YOUNG GIRLS AND BOYS WHO ARE TRIGGERED BY A RAPIST BECOMING OUR PRESIDENT, AGAIN, I see you and your pain.

To all the all the immigrants, whose backs hold up this country, I see you and your pain. To all the people who voted for Trump in good faith, I see you and respect your right to think differently than me.

You can point to the economy, the Middle East, grocery/gas prices, immigration, etc. but in my heart of hearts I know it’s not about that. I understand what our country was founded on— equality for white men, disregard to the native people and freedom from monarchy. Emancipation, civil rights, women’s suffrage, laws against martial rape, a black president, the #metoo movement and #blm they say. Yes, we’ve made much progress and I will never stop believing in the concept of a more perfect union, but we are not in a post-racist, post-sexist society just yet.

We tend to focus on individuals who are “racists” instead of the much more complicated and powerful fact, that racism is embedded in the fabric of our society, and therefore it’s not the responsibility of just the individual, it’s about systems that have long existed and cultural shifts we are not entirely ready for. Everyone, despite where they come from or how we use the concept of race to define them, is part of this.

There is a reason our country voted for Trump directly following Barack Obama’s presidency, it was a rubber band effect backwards after the fear incited in many while moving forward.

Feel free to disagree with me, I will always protect your right to do so, but this is what I’ve learned from my master’s degree, profession as a therapist and my own human experience.

Progress isn’t a straight line. Rubber band effects are part of the process, I will mourn this loss but I will not let a setback stop my hope in our country. Perhaps this is the reminder we need, this is where we are at in this moment and making peace with it will help us find a way forward.

While neither Hillary or Kamala became the first female PRESIDENT, they have now collectively set a PRECEDENT.

Young girls of color have a pathway forward, a road that has now been partially traveled, a large swath of people who see them, who hear them, who want them to succeed.

We are getting closer, even if it doesn’t feel that way now.

And for that I am forever grateful.

Little me who dreamt of being president one day is cheering. Little me who felt so bound by how others saw me finally feels free to self-identify, despite the antisemitism, racism, sexism and privilege I’ve faced in my life.

Little Monica is so proud of what these women have done for her, even when they didn’t win the presidential election, they won her heart, they made possible the potential for the change she wishes to see in this world.

I can and will continue to see a country that represents all Americans, this setback to me is all part of the process and God’s greater plan and I believe it so deeply, I hope you do too.