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[bigletter]I celebrate Christmukkah every year, but this is one is sure to be pretty special. This year the eight nights of Hanukkah happen to coincide with December 25th, thus creating an even more legitimate alignment of the two holidays I love most truly blending into one big Christmukkah!
So naturally I had to go all out.[/bigletter]
So let me tell you a little story about why Christmukkah is so special to me. I always found comfort in both holidays but never felt a real part of either. My mother wanted to embrace her Jewish heritage, my father, his Christianity, and when they divorced early on in my childhood I felt like I lost both. So we continued to practice focusing on the less religious parts of each as my mother didn’t have a strong connection to Judaism from her childhood and my father wasn’t very present in our lives anymore. However, as American children my sister and I found the fun of each holiday a connection enough I suppose. A connection to family, food and perhaps the frivolous commercialism of Christmas?
We had moments of pure joy over decorating the tree and shoving our faces with chocolate Hanukkah gelt. We fought over Martinelli’s sparkling cider and who had more presents. We found ourselves confused and disconnected to faith given we ended up with a lack of religiosity from either set of ancestors. At summer camp I realized quickly I wasn’t Jewish enough having not been bat mitzvah’d or consistently attended temple throughout my life. With my father’s family I didn’t understand Spanish and felt bad about engaging too deep into Christianity for it went against my mother’s earnest attempts at developing a stronger fidelity to a reformed Jewish life.
It wasn’t perhaps until summer camp and high school that I formed very close relationships with other Jewish peers who were raised closer to the faith and with whom I found acceptance within the community. Whether it was because my mother had Jewish roots or because I was stylish and funny I am still not sure but I imagine it was a compilation of who I was that they validated. So I decided for myself that I would intentionally embrace Judaism and I did. I primarily dated Jewish men, attended services on holidays, went on Birthright to Israel and was so overwhelmed by the love and support of a people who’s history has been so long and so challenged.
But despite my best attempts to fully align myself with Judaism I recognized I didn’t want to ignore the parts of myself that loved being American and for me that meant embracing holidays like Christmas and Easter and celebrating them the way my blended family did, for the traditions that were traditional to us.
We loved the decorations, the shopping, the baking, the pajamas all day, the themed nights of Hanukkah we came up with after buying our first fondue pot. We loved going ice skating, eating dinner in the Walnut Room and looking at the windows at Marshall Field’s. We loved the Christmas movies, playing dreidel and buying gifts for each other. These were the traditions my family created and the ones I would feel a fool not to share with my son and husband now.
My husband is Jewish and also from Belarus, a place where people weren’t allowed to practice their faith. He grew up celebrating The New Year and now we have a New Year’s tree with a bright and proud Star of David at the top, just like my tree did growing up.
Now I recognize that there are many blended families in the world who may not choose to celebrate the way I do, however, one of the tenants of being an American and living in a free country is that our ideals are based on mutual respect and acceptance of one another. And although I am not a religious person, I am incredibly spiritual and believe in a higher power and prayer. And I guess my prayers this year center mostly around preserving those ideals, that anything that brings us joy, togetherness and altruism is okay. That how and why we celebrate should be a personal choice for us all to make ourselves and amongst our family, while respecting and valuing the diversity in what we do and the meaning behind it.
And you know I love pastels, in addition to an over the top tablescape scheme depicting the festivities I’ve come to cherish over the years. The snow I’m happy to see only on vacation now, nostalgia from a train trip in my childhood and Chinese take-out on Christmas Day. Like every holiday season, respect for the classics and an offering of something new, like my fabulous plates I’ve been manifesting forever!
So no matter how you celebrate I am wishing you and your loved ones a very happy holiday! Thank you for helping embrace mine, Xx
