As I gathered various gear for my summer themed setup, like this awesome lobster embroidered seersucker sheet I found on Poshmark, a fish shaped platter and wide shells, I suddenly realized I haven’t ever truly went with this theme before, despite living near the coast for the last ten years.

And while sitting with my friends, enjoying the beautiful ocean air and perfectly pink sunset, someone pointed out how we’d never attempted a beach party before as a group, aside from my little white party one summer. In fact, it really wasn’t until the height of the pandemic that I even re-embraced the beach day. When I first moved here, driving my little convertible buggy down PCH to lounge on a Malibu beach and read a book by myself for a few hours was fairly standard practice. However, at some point I suppose I just got bored with the beach, even after living in a place with quite a coveted view.

It’s a bit disappointing I guess, to think how I was able to adapt to my new norm here in what many people would consider a paradise. I suppose when you really start to live and work in a place it’s easy to take for granted the beauty of what was initially attractive. Los Angeles is not just a beach town, but a serious metropolis with intense diversity in its various sub cities, making it seem like an “always on vacation” kind of place, yet LA possesses the same challenges to its less famous contemporaries.

There is still crime, street parking fines, genuinely reasonable and genuinely questionable people and of course, incredible traffic. If you live and work here you still have bills, neighbors and grocery store parking. It’s just like everywhere else, except the sunshine can significantly improve a mood and so many of the annoyances that were just part of my life growing up in Chicago, like warming up my car before driving it during the brutal winters.

But let me be clear, I am in no way asking for sympathy here, and honestly don’t know if I’d want to live anywhere else! I guess this past year of staying at home and significantly limiting the distractions of pre-pandemic life such as traveling, socializing, constantly going somewhere or the act of planning to go somewhere in general, has led me down a path of reigniting my love for this city, more specifically the quaint slice of it I get to call home.

The mounds of overflowing bougainvillea, fresh ocean air, perfectly hedged residential streets are aesthetics I’ve just taken for granted until my sunset walks became the most exciting part of my day last Spring. The simple things started to become luxurious again, like going to my favorite coffee shop with the most befitting name, Caffe Luxxe, or showing my mother some of my favorite streets to strut down because what else could I take her to do last summer?

Alas, I realize how disconnected I’ve been these past several years chasing adventures elsewhere. Don’t get me wrong, I’m dying to get some more stamps in my dusty passport, however, I realized that constant pursuit is perhaps another ugly trait from the trap of perfectionism I am continuing to work myself through. And although I’ve made significant progress, there is still so much work ahead. The desire for more and more is not just about adventure, it’s also about general discontent, something I don’t think is severely at play here for me, but it’s an empty road to continue to pursue. I want to embrace what I have, while simultaneously looking ahead, the end goal centered in true presence whenever possible.

This night was a great example, I planned everything out super strategically down to the minute so the party would be perfectly set by the time my guests and specifically, guest of honor arrived. However, that just didn’t happen and while I still made it ahead of my friends, everything wasn’t perfectly ready in my mind. It sound super stupid now to write this but I am disappointed in how it made me feel then, as if I had failed at something. As if being setup ten minutes ahead would have made the afternoon for myself and friends that much better. Everyone had a great time and were so thankful for what I planned, causing me of course to relax at a certain point and finally let go of it.

So I guess I’m still a work in progress, which is too bad since I was planning to have it all figured out before giving birth, ha ha HA!

As pictured, the night was great and we all couldn’t believe how beach parties weren’t really a thing for us all these years we’ve been friends. Perhaps this pandemic brought us just a little more gratitude for what we have in front of us, especially mine and Emma’s favorite marble cake from SusieCakes, who I believe did in fact truly miss her.

And perhaps the pretty {and on time} sunset too.