PICNIC IN THE PALISADES

[bigletter]Lately it feels like time is slipping away. I imagine it’s because the world is opening up, the days are brighter for longer, oh and perhaps because I’m set to give brith to my first child in four weeks? That may have something to do with this.[/bigletter]

Whatever the reason, time will always be constant, we can’t request to slow it down or take it back. But I suppose we can try to use it better, more effectively to meet our needs, the needs tied to deadlines, money and bigger goals, as well as the ones that replenish us, create meaning, take our breath away.

I read something interesting about meaningful moments, something that quite frankly goes against all the well thought out plans I make for myself.

I’m quoting one author from another author,

Quality time is a myth. There’s no way we can plan instances of extraordinary candor, plot episodes of exquisite tenderness, engineer intimacy in an appointed hour. People tend not to operate on cue. At least our moods and emotions don’t. We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones. The surest way to see the brightest colors, or the darkest ones, is to be watching and waiting and ready for them.
Frank Bruni {as quoted in The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work}

This quote has struck me so deeply because I have spent my entire life attempting to both create and capture the perfect moment, and share it on this blog for you all of course.

I suppose what I’ve been doing is laying down as best a foundation to what I believe will provide the best possible chance of some excitement for myself and others.

For example, a well thought out guest lists for parties, an engaging table setting or well themed outfit, showing up as the best version of my relaxed or social self the best I can.

Of course none of these pieces always make the puzzle work, there have been so many dinner parties, vacations, Tuesday evenings that go awry. Mainly due to weather, other people or my own mood I just can’t shake. But I’ve managed to finesse this quality by letting go of the high expectations I’ve set for myself and those around me, doing my very best to just try and go with what is, despite my well laid plans.

This idea that we can’t plan quality time, however, actually makes sense though. Just attempt to recall any date night gone bad or meltdowns during a family vacation. We are all susceptible to the stresses of a life worth living or just plain indigestion. Nobody is immune to rainstorms on their wedding day.

So therefore if we can’t guarantee the quality of the time, perhaps our only option is to just create more of it. Not by adding hours to the day unfortunately, but rather carving out more consistent opportunities for our time to be well spent. Rather than one big family trip, perhaps more frequent family dinners. Instead of date night involving an uber, an outfit and expensive dinner bill once in a while, it could just be several hours every Thursday night, whether in sweatpants or stilettos, doing laundry together or setting up a lavish spring picnic.

Literally like quantity over quality.